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BEAUTY GALLERY

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES

Joke of the Day

11/13/00 Q: Kathleen Turner did it, now model Jerry Hall appeared nude in a British stage version of what movie?

Nathan Lane: The Singing Nun. Boy! Did that guitar come in handy!

(Correct answer - The Graduate)



11/14/00 Q: Franklin Pierce and Ulysses S Grant have the distinction of being the only Presidents to have what happen to them in the White House?

Tony Roberts: Get caught with their pants up.

(Correct answer - Be arrested. Grant for speeding in his buggy, Pierce for running over a woman with his horse.)


11/17/00 Q: Peter Sellers was trying to thwart thieves who were trying to steal the Pink Panther. What was the Pink Panther?

Bruce Villanch: A panther that likes show tunes.

(Correct answer: A diamond)




11/20/00
Gilbert Gottfried: There is a mirror in my pants that says "Objects are smaller than they appear"


11/28/00
Q: As reported in Gear Magazine, according to a Connecticut law, if you see a dog with a tattoo, what are you required to do?

Bill Brochtrop: Return it to Cher.

(Correct answer: Call the police)


11/30/00
Q: All the wacky devices used by Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the Roadrunner are made by what company?

Whoopi: Firestone

(Correct answer - Acme)


Later in the show, Tom Bergeron to Robert Klein: Are you doing impressions on your HBO Special?

Robert: I'm trying to do Gilbert Gottfried, but I can't get it down.

Gilbert: I can't get it up!


Later in the show, Brad Garrett in retort to a Caroline Rhea comment: Come on Caroline, I don't jump onto the bed while you're working!

NATHAN